your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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