his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
