i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
try to milk me bitch
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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