I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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