No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Drunk is a universal language darling
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize