Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
