His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
