The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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