No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
