This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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