when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
