Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
