like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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