your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
