I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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