if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
