Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
