Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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