and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
