i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
