when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Apparently you make a good broom.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
