i permit you to call me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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