at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
