Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
