I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
