The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
