That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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