I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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