I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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