You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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