well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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