Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
