Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
