It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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