ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize