Too much gin, very little bucket
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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