I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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