Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
meet me or not, i'm out of control
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
