Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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