So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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