have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
