did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
thus making me awesome and them whores
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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