I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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