people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
