so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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