one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
