So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
