Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
