Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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