Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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