You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize