Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
