To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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