They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
