i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
